The Dark Side of Watches

I don’t particularly care to shop for watches in person. I feel intimidated and pressured. I’m sure most of that stems from my introversion. But being in sales in my wine career, I learned to spot the indicators in a sales setting and it makes me feel uncomfortable. Buying a car is painful. Selling one is even more so. But shopping for luxury watches, in a high-toned watch or jewelry store, really gives me the creeps. I’m an introvert.

Thanks to Rolex, I came up with an alternative to trying watches on in person, store side. Rolex has “exhibition” watches in their AD stores and they are technically Rolex on the outside, but without movements and the parts that make time-telling vital. Still, one can go inside a store and “try” one on, get a feel for the watch. Now, buying one, that’s another story. But trying one on, easy enough.

But you have to walk into the store and go through all that mishegoss dance. I don’t want to do that, so I came up with my own plan.

It all started with an all-black AP Royal Oak replica that I bought from China (for $25). Now, before you go all high-and-mighty on me, just hear me out.

First of all, I own some nice watches already. I don’t need to find my grail watch, because I already have that in my Bulgari Octo Finissimo Titanium. And I have a very nice Omega Speedmaster Legendary Moonwatch (311.30.42.30.01.005), as well as a superb Tudor Black Bay Fifty-Eight 925. I know a little about watches with gravitas. That’s not why I took this path.

I went down this road because I wanted to approximate the wrist feel of certain watches without having to go into the store and hope maybe those watches would be available to try on my wrist. In most cases, they aren’t. But also, the intimidation factor for a newbie like me was just a bit too much. Going into a store with folks who knew so much more about watches than I did, for one. As well, their sizing me up for the unlikely probability that I would be a worthy candidate for these watches. I just decided to get my own set of, lets call them “exhibition watches,” so I could wear them in the world and see how they fit my wrist and my sensibilities. At no time did I, or do I now, think these watches make up for the real deal. But they have given me a sense of which of those unobtainable watches I might like.

The only concession I made, to a friend, was that I wouldn’t be trying any “Rolex” watches of this type. My friend has tons of the real thing, and if I wanted to get a feel for them, I’m sure he would let me try any of his. But I’m not really into Rolex watches, per se. Don’t get me wrong, I love my Tudor. But a Rolex triggers many conflicting emotions from when I first moved to Dallas in the late 1970’s – early 1980’s, when owning one here was the thing.

Sure, we’re told the Royal Oak, or the Nautilus are grail watches. But are they to all of us? In any case, I already had climbed that mountain.

I liked an all-black Royal Oak (like Karl Lagerfeld’s, above, which recently went at auction for $900,000+). I figured I could bang it up and make it look like Karl’s and if, in doing so, I was able to get a feel for the watch, so be it. It was a quartz version, which left no one to question if it was the real deal or not. In fact, someone asked me about it on one of my walks, and I immediately told them it was not a real Royal Oak.

But the watch I was wearing felt really good. Hefty, sexy, very sensual. Not unlike the Octo Finissimo, although the Octo Finissimo is a little less husky and a little stealthier. But it gave me an idea.

The next watch I got ahold of was a copy of the Cartier Santos (under $100), again all black. It first showed up with a rather uncomfortable rubber strap, which took some getting used to. In the meantime, I ordered an all-black bracelet and had it put on the watch. During one of my walks the thing came undone and dropped to the ground, scratching the watch all to hell. I ordered a second one this time with a black metal bracelet already installed. And it showed up. This time with an automatic movement. I was ready to try it out.

It seemed fine. Not your usual Santos watch, this all-black model. Kind of goth. In fact, for this exercise, I chose all black watches so as to distinguish them from my already established collection of stainless steel, silver and platinum real watches. You know, the ones with gravitas.

The all-black Cartier gave me what I was looking for in terms of an approximation. I’m not sure it was my favorite. But it sure beats spending $7000+ to find out.

I’m a sucker for Italian designed watches, and for my third watch I chose an exhibition Panerai Luminor Marina automatic, again in all-black with blue numerals and hands. A beefy, burly watch by all accounts. The biggest watch on my wrist so far.

I have to say, I’m now a bigger fan of Panerai than I was before I put one on and lived with it for a week on my wrist. It’s impressive. It’s big. It makes quite the statement. I’m not sure Panerai telegraphs gravitas, as much as is does other things. But yeah, I was able to get a feel for this watch, albeit in an unconventional manner.

Being a fan of my Omega Speedmaster, and witnessing the feeding frenzy last year over the Moonswatch, I managed to get my hands on a couple of Swatch replicas. It was then that I decided 1) that if I were going to spend that kind of money for a toy watch, I’d rather spend the same amount for a used Seiko Turtle (Prospex SRP 775), which I did. And 2) if I wanted to have a toy watch on my wrist, I’d sooner have my $25 “Lagerfeld” Royal Oak or a $100 Cartier Santos copy. Not that I would ever think these watches (or the Moonswatches) could ever replace the real world of horological specimens which collectors clamor for. But I was interested in the Omega Seamaster Diver 300M Black. I actually went into the Omega store and tried it on, the real one. And then I ordered my fourth exhibition model, the Black Diver, which set me back about $160.

When it showed up, it was probably one of the simplest of the group to wind and set up. No dates. No elaborate bracelets or “proprietary” straps, like Cartier, or Hublot (coming). Just a standard rubber (not silicone) strap with the traditional attachment hardware.

It did feel a little lighter than the real one. But I wonder if that is my imagination. I will go back to the Omega store to test my suspicion and see for sure. It wears comfortably.

But it isn’t a Speedy. And for a watch that costs about $9,000, if you can find one, I think spending $160 to get a feel for it is a pretty inexpensive experiment. I mean, how many of us blow $160 on a lunch or a dinner and the next morning it’s flushed down the river? So, yes, I tried the real one on. And I wore a replica for a week on the wrist. And my conclusion? I’ll stick with my real Speedmaster, thank you very much.

Long a fan of Patek Phillipe, I know a store in town that sells them. But talk about feeling intimidated. A freestanding replica of a chateaux, the jewelry store is usually surrounded by a moat of rare and expensive collectable automobiles. No way I was getting through the gates, even if I drove my humble Porsche 987 over there. No way. And who would believe I really wanted a PP Nautilus anyway? I didn’t even know if I did, let alone the salesperson there, who probably didn’t have one available to look at, let alone sell, to me. I did the next best thing and ordered an all-black “exhibition” Nautilus. Hey, it was $100. I would have had to tip the valet that much at the “Chateau Jewelry” store.

It showed up, an automatic, all-black. Very solid. Very serious, for a knock off. I’m sure the experts could spot it a mile away, but that wasn’t my intention. It was to get wrist time on my terms, and see if a watch like this was really the watch for  me.

You know what? I really like the watch. But it isn’t for me. It’s a fabulous concept, but a little small for my wrist. It reminded me, in size, of my 1980 era Seiko quartz black TV screen model. And that wasn’t a big watch. Lesson learned. My fifth.

Lastly, the sixth would be Hublot Classic Fusion, again in all-black. Not your usual sought-after watch, compared to the Royal Oak, the Nautilus or the Santos. But a really nice, Italian inspired design. And I am a sucker for the Italian designers. I order this one ($120) and waited for it to show up.

Which it did, recently. It was an automatic, and had a pleasing weight to it. Shiny, bright, the hands appeared to be gold, but that was merely the reflection. Indeed, they are silver colored. But they do have a bit of the chameleon effect when it comes to reflected light that they gather. Nice touch.

The rubber strap - looks like a proprietary design - is really cool and easy to attach. Unlike the Cartier rubber one, which really had me tied up in knots trying to figure it out before attaching it to my wrist. The “Hublot” is much more comfortable. But I solved the Cartier problem by getting one with a bracelet. The Hublot works for me. I’d like to try that strap style on a few of my “legitimate” watches.

I’m going to stop at six. I have enough real watches that I love, and I don’t want to become “that guy” who only wears fake watches to try and fool folks into thinking they are real. What I do like about them though, is that I can go into public spaces without worry that if someone jacks me, they’re not going to rip me off big time. They might not like it when they find out, and I might not like getting jacked, but if that were to happen, I sure as hell wouldn’t put up a fight. “Here, take it and take $25 to get you another one when it stops running,” I’d like to think I would say. But I probably would keep my mouth shut.

So, what did I find out, after all those exhibition road tests? I really love the AP Royal Oak, and would love to have a real one someday. I like Cartier, but I probably would prefer a simpler Santos, maybe a stainless steel. Although I do quite like the Santos Skeleton. But at $22K+, I probably need to get a more dependable daily driver first (a car, that is). I’m too practical about things like that.

The Hublot, in the secondary market at $5-7K? That’s something to consider.

No, to the Nautilus. No, to the Omega Seamaster. And while the Panerai might be a nice indulgence, I’m good either way. I’m not dying to have one, yet. I’d rather save up for a Royal Oak.

For a total of $700 I obtained six (actually seven, because of the two Cartier’s) watches. Watches, which individually sell for $7,000-$70,000, if available. Total cost for all of them would be somewhere in the vicinity of $140,000 and up. $700 is a scintilla of what the real watches would have set me back. To try and see if they looked and felt and wore good on my wrist. A little less than three Swatch Moonswatches, if they were available to buy retail, which they aren’t. So, I got my answer. I had my fun. And now I have six exhibition watches I can wear while walking, working in the garden, washing the car or fixing things around the house. I can bang them up. And leave my really good watches protected and in good condition to wear when I require a little more gravitas.

 

© written and photographed by Alfonso Cevola limited rights reserved